Catacombe Cappuccini di Palermo Monastery and Thwarting a Pick Pocket 28th of April

It was our last full day in Palermo and we had so many things we wanted to do but such low energy levels.  I still felt completely depleted after our crazy day yesterday.  I had ear marked a few things in advance such as Monreale for the mosaic duomo, Erice a medieval town perched high on a hill with a stunning sea view and Trapani which is a beachfront town which is apparently really beautiful and I wanted to see the Cappuccine Monastery.

Yesterday after all the drama had been resolved we'd promised Luciano that we'd have a coffee with him . He was at the station and so delighted to see us, he took us to his favorite café and ordered coffees and cornettos ,  Eric went to pay and Luci was very upset and pushed him back to the table. I meanwhile had nutella squirting out of my cornetto in all directions,  I vow I will never eat another one in public.

Luciano had to go back to his spot in front of the train station to try to drum up business but first of all he took us to the bank.  We wanted to do something with him in the afternoon but didn't know what as we'd run out of cash money and had to locate a bank to do a withdrawal.  Luci marched us over to a bank where the 3 ATMs were inside a cubicle which was monitored by an armed private guard. There was a very long line each person was questioned by the guard  about his/her business and they were either permitted to stay, enter the bank or leave!  Luckily after Luci's intersession Eric was permitted to stay.

Cashed up we purchased our bus tickets to see the Cappuccine Monastery. Sorry to quote my man Rick again but Nina (Eric's mum ) and I had been fascinated by a program we watched on this bizarre order. Apparently even in this day and age the devout can request to leave their earthly body here. Eric was not really impressed with my macarbe choice of excursion.

We paid our €3 entry fee and timidly crept through the dimly lit tunnel. I am sorry but I took 3 disrespectful sneaky photos.  There  were about 6 chambers each one was for a designated group, i.e. religious, professional,  virgins,  families, children etc. I'm only guessing but I think that a type of taxidermy is done to the bodies.  It was terribly sad to see them in their favorite clothes. I had to make a rapid exit when Eric came across a recent corpse. Prospective inmates choose their spot in advance to see if it resonates for them.

It was time to go, we were a bit downcast and since our connecting bus left from outside a church which had both Arab and Norman influences. The chiese had been built by King Ruggero and the walls and ceiling were decorated with ornate mosaics. Since we were in the area we went on to have a look. The cuppola was amazing and even non churchy Eric was impressed. The Royal Apartments were closed and a temporary art exhibition adorned the walls downstairs so we didn't linger. It was filled with the who's who of Palermo's cultural elite.

I'd have to say apart from the mosaics the highlight of that €10 experience was the great conversation I had with the toilet monitor about the large cotton tree shading the toilet block. He was very pleased with my attempts at Italian and he said "brava linguista" .  We caught the free storico bus back to the Stazione Centrale.

This would have been a simple retell but I was the victim of a PICK POCKET.  Now the predator was very fashionably dressed with zigzag shaves on the sides of his head to show his swag. He had a bomber jacket hung over his arm, and tried to brush it against me casually to lull me into a false sense of security. So upon the 4th casual stroke he used his thumb and pointer finger to gently slide my zipper open. Now he didn't know that beneath what appeared to be a tired old woman lurked a vigilante.  As he gently slid my zipper open I flicked his hand and gave him the stink eye and turned my bag so it was beside Eric.  I kept  unwavering eye contact with him as I felt too self conscious to scream or cause a scene. Mr PP jumped off at the next stop.

Back at the station Luciano was unfortunately still on siesta so not wanting to wait for an indeterminate length of time we hopped back on the bus and got off near the marina which was quite close to our apartment.  I'm lucky Eric was so kind as he gave me his VB jumper to wear as it became quite nippy all of a sudden. We strolled along the sea wall watching the cargo boats and clouds play out their show. Brisk winds tugged at us so we walked back to the sheltered area behind the row of sea view buildings.

Once we were behind the first row there was a bustling hive of activity going on . The street was lined with food vendors and two competing seafood  restaurants . The old men sitting at thrir outside dining tables were busy drinking birra and eating street cooked artichokes. Battling fatigue we decided to have a mini nap, and after braving the steps we put on the timer and fell asleep almost instantly.  We had planned to do half an hour of packing but chose to sleep that away as well.

Prompted by the timer we showered and were soon in a quandary about where to have our last meal in Palermo . The first spruiker didn't have the dishes I was after and as I'd sussed out Tonino and Bepinos menu previously we crossed to the other side. Due to the scorned spruikers eyes burning holes in my back we had to sit inside.

It was a Friday and in honour of Serges fish Fridays  we had a grilled platter to share and a pasta each. The staff were very pleased to hear that Eric's mum was Siciliana and when we paid our conti they refused to take the full amount. That was a very happy memory seeing how they embraced one of their own people so instantly.

Packing looming over our heads we had to cut short our constitutional walk after dinner and hiked up the detested steps to our hour long task. I'd booked the train to Catania that afternoon and we were catching the 733am train.  I'm quite a nervous traveler so I found it very hard to drift off to sleep that night knowing that we had to be on our way to the station by 645am!

Catania where Eric's nonna came from - our one night!

Due to my poor planning we were only in Catania for one night although I'd paid for two. I'd left it so long that there were no early morning tickets left after night two and Eric wanted 2 full days in Paris. I should've sacrificed a Palermo night since we were there for 4 nights. I was very apologetic to Eric as our host who was an engineer has friends in city hall who could've helped us track down Eric's long lost relatives. Amazingly we'd woken refreshed after the seafood dinner. ( I slept 3.5 hours) We'd gotten up very early and walked to the station dragging our suitcases. Rosario told us to leave the key on the floor outside the apartment - weird, since he has a spare key to get in.

We were very happy that Luciano was already outside trying to hustle up some fares to drive tourists around. We'd come round yesterday afternoon to pay him for a tour but it was his siesta time. He was such a lovely man, and is actually the only reason why I'd ever come back to Palermo. We gave him a huge hug and I took a  quick selfie. I wished that we had some way to send him a thank you gift for being a guardian angel in my time of need. He was very fatherly towards us and gave us both a message to carry with us. Mine was very positive about being lovely and to try to stay calm and Eric's was have a shave and show respect to your grandmother you are going to her hometown!

Haha told! We had to cut our goodbyes short as I was now a nervous wreck about getting hubby on to a train. When we got to the platform I double checked with staff and passengers that we were on the correct train. Sicily was as beautiful as we'd expected Tuscany to be with gently undulating hills filled with patches of poppies, heather,  clovers, lilies of the valley, daffodils and other wild flowers.  The journey was beautiful,  unfortunately I fell asleep almost immediately,  I am a very good sleeper whilst in motion! I know the journey was over 2 hours but to me it seemed like it was a ten minute nap and then before I knew it we were gliding into Catania Stazione Centrale.

Gaetano had given us good directions with regards to the bus but we were slightly confused by directions to the apartment,  he stated that it was behind the Mecure Universal, because this was very large when we had circumnavigated it three quarters of the way we saw Gaetano waving to us from the balcony. He came to let us into the building and then took us to the foyer of our apartment . Unfortunately the plumbers were in the bathroom so we couldn't refresh. We had emailed G about Eric's nonna last night. Gaetano said he was intrigued by Eric's family history and wanted to help Eric find some living relatives. He offered to follow this up once we sent him some more info from Australia as he is just a lovely old worldly gentleman who has friends who work in the registry office.

Carrying a map with notations from Gaetano we navigated our way to Bellini Park, it was very restful sitting in the sunshine in the park. On our way to the park we'd discovered a food market , to us this was exciting, it was actually the only huge market we'd been to in our one month trip. The fresh produce was amazing, not that I even eat prawns but they were €3 per kg. Cheese was so cheap it was just a terrible injustice as we were leaving tomorrow.  Thus I was frugal with my purchasing only picking up a mandalora tray -  a selection of almond flour based cookies that I'd only ever seen in a photograph in the now redundant Feast magazine. The only other thing we bought was a bag of olives.  We took our purchases to the park where a man was singing popular songs in Italian, it really helped set the scene.

Everyone was enjoying the temperate climate, the families out and about with their children had brought bikes, scooters and balls with them. Couples had brought picnic mats and wine, elderly people were walking with their canes or were pushing each other in wheelchairs. A group of three 12 year olds near us were acting quite cool, we spotted them later, letting off crackers at a fountain. This was really asking for trouble as within minutes the police were there,  the boys felt very brave and let off another one, they were chased by the police and one got away and let his friends take the rap. Eric said that it was something that he would've loved doing at that age.

Feeling peckish we stopped at Pasticceria Savia which had been one of our hosts recommendations. The cashier had to be paid first then once she'd given you a ticket you traded that with the relevant counter staff. I bought pistachio pesto, 2 frozen coffees, a canolo and a dynamite pistachio arancini.  Oh my God it was sublime!  Unfortunately we had to meet Gaetano at 3.30pm for a key changeover so our amble was cut short. Gaetano was very pleased that we'd enjoyed his recommendation and gave us several for dinner. I cross checked his recommendations on TripAdvisor and we settled on his first pick Canni & Pisci,  he kindly rang to make us a reservation unfortunately we had to decline as we could only get in at 10pm. So we settled for his second choice which was Trattoria del Cavaliere, I was a tiny bit anxious as they served horse which I was very uncomfortable about. We activated Google maps and off we went, through the sports shoe markets and past the supermarket.  I bade Eric to stop so that I could buy 2litres of Limoncello.  He said let's just get it tomorrow . You know that song " What if tomorrow never comes?" Well anyway that's how I felt. I thought, just in case my limoncello tomorrow never comes I'll buy 500ml now and some plane snacks and some small bottles of prosecco  so we can have a spritz when we get home tonight .

Landmarks such as McDonald's found , left turn taken and we were soon seated ahead of the 730pm first setting. Now because I'd read mixed reviews, (one of them mentioning that the pasta dishes were small, ) I ordered;  piccolo antipasti buffet at €3, I thought little plates, not so, that in itself was enough for our dinner and so delicious. Infact this antipasti tasted the most like what Nina cooks out of all the styles of food we'd eaten in Italy! The pasta was enormous,  and we also had salad and marinated veggies as well as swordfish involtini and 2 types of beef involtini  one with pistachio  nuts and the other either tomatoes and prosciutto,  plus a pork scallopine for Eric. When it all came out we were so overwhelmed that I started laughing in shock. They were very kind and let me pack it away - Lotteria style. We were so full yet we had only eaten a third of our meal.

As we started walking up our street retracing our steps I heard screaming and sirens I  froze in horror.  Loads of people came running in our direction the two at the front had blood all over them. We were almost knocked over by the crowd. I screamed and dragged Eric into a shop, the crowd thundered by. I asked the shopkeeper if he knew what was happening.  He shrugged and replied "Probably boys  fighting ".

Venturing out of the shop cautiously we noticed a well dressed mother waving her fist as she escorted her 8 years old son who was also bleeding.  She was screaming at anyone who would listen. The crowd turned again
and surged back towards McDonalds. We distanced ourselves from the  crowd. By then it was a group brawl with more than 100 participants.  As Sicily still has a strong mafia prescence I thought it best if we got back to the airbnb as soon as possible.  All intentions of a limoncello spritz were abandoned and we lay there talking about the strange evening.

Sicily the Island of many Contrasts

Climbing up and down the marble staircase was only rewarding in the way that "fitbit' gave me a helicopter award. I know for some people like my friend Vicki that's so passe but for me the slug that I am it's - woohoo!!!  Everytime we returned to the airbnb I felt like hiring a sherpa to carry me. Going down the steps was ok but ascending was dreadful.  This morning with the spirit of exploration shining brightly we set out.

We strolled down some lanes near our digs, everyone was up and about, there was no rest for the wicked here! People were sweeping out their one room dwellings others were sitting outside at their kitchen tables arguing or dtinking mocca. The feral German Shepherds were digging through rubbish.  Just another day in Palermo!

Although we'd had a late night bar snack we were hungry. Eric whose heart was on mainland Italy was desperate for a capuccino; I  on the other hand was desperate to take him to the Cappuccin Monastery where the famous coffee originated. Before we went to Italy  I didn't think Eric would like the traditional sweet breakfast but he'd adapted quick smart and felt each day had to be started with a giant nutella croissant  (Italians call it a cornetto ) and a cappuccino.  (Only socially acceptable before 11am).

I was in complete agreeance but first needed to investigate the church in front of us. I was really touched that a brotherhood of lay people and volunteers maintained this church of St Rosalia whose bone relics were in the church placed around the statue of Christ.  There is without a word of exaggeration at least one church per block here. Eric can only handle one a day so refused to go on the pilgrimage bus.

After a thorough read of all the inspirational information we went out into the street to look for a cafe. Eric pointed out one about 20 metres away which had a group of old men drinking coffee and having heated discussions over a board game. Upon closer inspection we realised it was someone's outdoor living room.  We walked around the corner and there was a street food van selling arancini, salsa, pork chops and other intriguing items in paper cones. I ordered us both an arancini giant and a cutlet with salsa to share. There was no where to sit and the other customers just stood around to eat, with cats rubbing against their legs.

The seaside was about 25 metres away and I thought we could sit in front of the 4th church we'd seen in a 5 minute walk away from our apartment.  My salmon arancini was the best I'd ever had in my life. Although I have to confess I slyly passed half of the buttery rice to Eric as I'm trying not to overeat.

Eric was still desperate for a coffee and there were unbrellas with cafe chairs set up to our left. We strolled along,  nearly bowled over by a couple on a motorbike eho were also aiming to go there. We're slowly getting used to the fact that roads are optional. We went in and I was more excited about the selection of granita than pastries. So to complete my breakfast I chose pistachio and blood orange granita, it was so fresh and cleansing on the palate. After a stroll along the seaside and a futile search for the hop on hop off bus terminal we walked back to Stazione Centrale where we had been dropped off yesterday by the airport shuttle.

The old fellow who'd tried to take us in his private taxi was there again . It transpired that his apartment where he lived with his wife whose surname was Teixeira  (Italian women don't take their husbands surname only the children take their fathers cognome). He introduced himself as Luciano he was very nice a real smooth talker like my cousin Les - who can sell ice to the Eskimos.  Luci wanted €200 to do a round trip from Palermo to Agrigento then Trapani then Erice and back to homebase. Although expensive it would have been great however with more than 7 hours driving time I thought it would be too tiring for him to be a safe driver. 

After finishing our hop on hop off bus tour and a visit to a travel agent we decided to go by public transport instead, he was so upset.  As per usual in a strange city the hop on hop off provides a historical brief which we are always keen to learn about. The architectural features always elude us but we are slowly recognizing more.

We walked around each drop off zone and came to see what a paradox this place is. Avenues lined with designer stores and 2 streets back apartments still decrepit from WWII. People in fancy clothes and cars and other's sharing one bedroom hovels. Pampered dogs with bejeweled collars and gangs of feral dogs in parks. So in contrast to last nights adventures in Druggie Alley we went to Rick Steves favorite restaurant in Palermo. To highlight the contrast let me explain it was just around the corner from drug dealer alley and was amazingly clsssy.

The meal was fabulous we had two plates of appetisers one land and one sea, for grossness we had the spleen slider as recommended by Andrew Simmer . Anyway we took heaps of photos of the impressive meal and went to bed as full as googs!

Agrigento -directions please! Thank the Lord for Spritzs

Rick Steves who everyone now knows is my hero, had recommended going to Agrigento as a must do activity in Sicily as these Greek ruins are in better condition than the ruins in Greece plus they are a lot less crowded.  And as I am writing this in past tense, perhaps in Agrigento they have less signposts and there is probably a group of tourists lost on a regular basis. I was so proud of hubster he was not to difficult to rouse this morning and we were at the station by 7.20!

It was an interesting journey as we were in a carriage with a school excursion and honestly these kids were screaming brats.  The teachers were in another carriage and would come occasionally to photograph them. They obviously don't care about being role models out in public!  The boys were running around,  jumping on the seats , swinging on the poles and the girls were not far behind them!

We got off the bus and bought tickets to the ruins, the botanical garden and the museum.  I presumed the later was somewhere on the grounds. Through the boom gate we went into thr garden.  I found the woman quite rude  as soon as Eric switched from Italian  into English  she ignored us and spoke over the top of us in Italian to more important visitors.  The gardens were watered using flood irrigation and the loveliest aroma of orange blossom was present.

Picnicking under the  blossoms was lovely. We'd bought some baked goods at the railway station  fearing that there might not be any food to purchase.  It was extremely restful, when ambling down the path we saw a sign pointing to the Temple of Vulcan so we crossed over the railway line to get there, it was very impressive.  Some vain girls asked me to take a photo of them. It turned out that they thought they were on a modelling shoot and that i was there official photographer.  So i had to wait while they clinbed the temple and tried pole dance moves on the BC columns.  When they were finally satisfied and had checked the photos they said " hehehe we look awesome,  thanks,  bye!"

Not even a  teeny smidgen of a thought that these two unawesome people might like an ordinary snapshot.  Anyway it was a stunningly beautiful day and we had heaps to see so we headed down a pathway which looked well trodden. We walked along the tiny little path for about 500m then it petered out into tall grass. So although we were not in the correct spot we remained positive. There was a well utilised dirt road next to the railway line so we followed this, Eric merrily whistling.  The road was indeed a main thorough fare for the farmer but however not for Australian tourists.

As we gazed across the railway line we saw the famous ruin which graces every tea towel featuring famous Italian icons.  Still not deterred we retraced our steps until we'd exited the gardens we walked along its boundary until we reached the Temple of Zeus , photos were taken. The famous temple was still visible in a north east direction but the way east seemed to be blocked by fallen columns. Ahead of us however I could see lots of people so we joined them. None of them could tell us how to get to the Temple of Juno. I saw the gate being unlocked by someone official for a woman in a wheelchair.  I pointed to and asked Temple of Juno . He nodded,   si , si.

We were now on an asphalt road with  traffic we walked to the boom gate near the entrance but were refused entrance.  This was only the entry via taxi we had to go back to the car park where we'd bought the tickets 5 and a half hours ago. A taxi driver offered his services  €10 to drive us through the gate. I in my scroogyness said no.

So we walked back a kilometer.  They directed us to the walk beside the botanical garden however we'd been there before and ended up at Zeus's temple.  I was starting to hyperventilate we waited for a temole shuttle bus which didn't turn up.  I'd had enough, Eric said we had to bite the bullet and  catch a taxi so that's what we did.

Taxied up to the Temple of Juno entrance we finally handee in our tickets after 6 hours. From the temple of Juno we walked to the famous one whose name eludes me. Now to the right i saw a tiny path with an arrow pointing to the Temple of Zeus a few metres where hours ago I was taking photos.  I shrieked something unpleasant about the lack of clearly marked signage.  Hissy fit over we walked along the scenic city wall of Agra, the Greeks had put their tombs in the wall here so that the dead had the amazing view of the sea. The path ended back at the bus stop so we joined an English man standing there.

Bit by bit others came and asked in German, Spanish, Italian or English if this was the bus stop.  I  advised them in their lingo of the anticipated time of arrival.  When the bus came the illmannered horde barged our line of three to the side and started boarding.  I was not in a feel good type of mood and grabbed onto the door and staked my  claim. Blocking two shocked large young germans I bellowed  " Come on Eric it's our turn,  the English man had been pushed into the ditch and was climbing out. I felt really sorry but the crowd surged in after us. He finally got on, his once jaunty cap askew and his jacket dirty with grass and rocks. I apologised to him for the state of affairs he was very gracious about it.

Now you'd think all was going well and you are right. Although we didn't get off at the train station as we hadn't recognized the side street it was on,  a kindly bus driver who was starting on a new route dropped us off there. We had 40 minutes before the next train so we went to the tabacchi where we'd picked up our lunch and tickets in the morning. 

Aperol Spritzs were €2.50 and we really deserved a treat.  I ordered them in Italian and the lady was so pleased with my efforts that she suoersized us and gave us big bowls of peanuts,  pretzels and chips. An American older couple came in and blasted a barrage of questions and demands at the man serving . He just shrugged and beckoned over the woman.  They said something rudely about why on earth don't they bother learning how to speak English and ordered their gelato.  I  was touched to see that when I ordered my gelato it was a skyscraper. 

The American couple were not impressed needless to say I was beaming with joy. However the fates weren't finished with me yet. We took the lift down to the platform as my legs were a bit wobbly.  I secured us a good seat, I beckoned to my husband and even opeded the door to say that the train was about to leave. He continued busying himself with his tobacco.  An electric beep went off and so did the train,  he sprang into motion and banged on the door I pressed the open button to no avail. So there I was on the train with a phone which was fast running out of battery and a giant gelato.  So I ate my gelato and fell asleep.  Two hours later we were pulling in to Palermo centrale it was too late for me to use the convenience.  Damn!

I had a bit of charge left and called Rosario the airbnb host.  He told me he'd meet me at the apartment in 20 minutes with the spare key. I wasn't allowed to use the toilet at McDonald's or the station as I had no money so I thought I'll walk home get the key and surely Eric will come to the apartment.  However after almost an hour Rosario hadn't arrived and nor had Eric. Remember this was not an ambient place to be stranded . The dealers looked at me with suspicion.  I was a scura ( dark skinned person - derogatory term we'd been called by our host Enrica in Torre del Lago Puccini ) dressed all in black leaning inna very gangster manner against the wall.

I was quite frantic I was busting to use the loo plus I was genuinely worried.  I walked back to the station expecting to see Eric but he was no where to be seen. Luciano was still at his street corner.  I asked him if he'd seem marito he said no.  It was very hard to explain but he understood that he'd  (Eric) missed the train at Agrigento. He said " tranquila" and put his arm around me and took me to the station master . The station master couldn't speak English but he called out Enrico Spigariol on the speakers and rang Agrigento, but the station master there said the platform was empty.

I had 5 percent charge so I rang Rosario who seemed very annoyed that I hadn't waited for him. Luciano told him to come to the station.  Once Rosario came there was a heated concerned discussion in Italian,  I told them I would go to McDonalds just in case Eric was there and I was correct.  He'd thought I'd wait for him at Maccas forgetting I had no money. 

Anyway we were reunited,  Luciano gave him a stern talking to in Italian we had hugs all-round and planned to catch up in the morning for a coffee.  Rosario drove us home he was very displeased that I hadn't waited for an hour and said he had an appointment.  I was very pleased he'd driven us home and actually burst into tears once I'd climbed to the fifth floor and peed.

Eric took me to dinner it was now about 10.30 the restaurant was around the corner from our street and was very posh with cloth napkins and knives I'd never seen before. The kitchen closed at 11 but they were so kind and stayed back for us . We had a lovely roast lamb as well as freshly made tagliatelle amongst other things. They gave us complimentary wine and I think they were relieved that we declined dessert as they were probably not getting paid for staying back. We strolled around the piazza for our constitutional and were happy that our day had ended on such a lovely note.

Sorry Salerno, Salute Sicily!

Salerno I apologize for not honoring your beautiful churches, beaches and ancient ruins but we really just used you as a springboard to visit Pompeii and the inimitable Amalfi Coast. We had intended on exploring Salerno this morning for 3 hours but we were so exhausted, luckily our cases were packed . It was 10.30 and we were being picked up by Antonio at 11am from cafe Zero Otto Nove.

Eric is really loving the Nutella croissants here and he had his regular and I had a crema one.  Confession time, I cannot eat without spilling or crumbling all over my self.  I wish bibs were socially acceptable as my croissant crumbs every morning look like giant chest dandruff .  The pigeons love me here as I shake off the crumbs.

Antonio takes his guests to the Naples airport for  €30 which is the same cost as by public transport. He was such a great host, he has been our favorite host so far. Although Enrica and Maurizio in Torre del Lago Puccini were impeccable hosts , Antonio felt like a friend.  He and Eric bonded during the journey to the airport over the tranquility of smoking, lax parenting, economics and travel.  He said although he has a 3 night minimum he would welcome us back if we stopped in for a night on our way to Sicily in 2 years time.

Napoli airport was a smooth checkin. We had Japanese food, yep that's right. The Italian food was at ridiculously high Cairns prices so we had yakitori and salmon noodles. Volutea air has large comfy seats the only area i can fault them is that once you've gone through the boarding gate it's chaos. No line just a mad dash to the steps.  I was number four in line and I got smashed in the shins by a he-man with two hardshell travel cases on the left and on the right a barefoot monk tried to swipe me by whipping around his wooden rosary beads. Uhuh father not today I put my arm out to block him. I ended up being tenth in the scrum.

Waving goodbye to mainland Italy we were all prepared for our next adventure in Eric's nannas stomping ground Sicily. Nina hadn't given us many details so we were staying in Palermo the capital for 4 nights and Catania for 1. Once  again hindsight makes you wish for a rewind button. 

Upon landing Eric said straight away "I don't like it.  The grass is dry and brown. " I directed him to observe the intense blue of the sea beside the runway and the goats on the mountain outcrops on our right.

We caught the train as per our host Rosario's instructions then stood there stumped.  We couldn't see the name of our street as promised in our message string.  The Indian car window cleaners asked an elderly yet spritely man to help us. He was very intense and tried to sell us tours. He wanted to talk to our airbnb host so he could drive us but we were worried about being scammed.

Rosario luckily answered when I rang and said he'd pick us up. Within 10 minutes he arrived a young - too busy to deal with dithering old people- long haired fellow , fluent in English.  He squeezed us into his tiny battered car and we went down a few streets on the most run down ghetto we'd ever seen in our lives. We gulped down our shock.

Next shock was the 3 flights of steps per floor we were on the 5th floor so it was 15 flights up the huge marble stairs. He opened the door to the apartment and it was amazing.  It was very roomy with a new kitchen and washing machine . There were two big bedrooms with balconies to hang up your clothing and a giant living room with a dining table.  After unpacking our clothes and having a micro nap we set out for dinner. Maybe our nap was macro as it was around 10pm when we reached the Ballaro Markets.

Even Eric was frightened walking through the streets dictated by google maps,  in this case there should be a safe walk option as this was really like taking a walk on the wild side. There was not much open and we were very hungry so we went to drug deal cafe and had a spritz, we watched the bar woman make it although I didn't feel she was an unsafe person.

The owner was intrigued by the two squaries and asked where we were from. He shouted something out and a table was cleared for us. We also had porchetta paninis and shared a large beer. We were privy to a few dope deals and were offered hash and cocaine.  A lot of clean cut looking teenagers dropped in to score their drugs.

It was nearly midnight so we said our goodbyes and walked through the dubious alley way, not making eye contact with anyone.  We stopped in a tranquil piazza to catch our breath and have a pit stop. As a reward for our bravery we had limoncello spritz and a bruschettini the latter being a giant Bruschetta covered in burrata, cherry tomatoes,  basil and prociutto - it was a delicious start to Sicily.  We arrived back in our own ghetto soon, I still felt creeped out by the naked human with a tail and two heads painted across the expanse of to crumbling buildings. The squalor made me feel grateful for my safe life in Australia.  As I fell I listened to the sounds of sirens and dogs barking .

Romes Birthday! She is 2770 years old!

How do you celebrate a 2000 plus woman's birthday?  That is the quandary that the Birthday Party Coordinators alla Roma have each annum. We found out about the celebration yesterday by chance and we were keen to soak up some cultural knowledge.  So I downloaded the program of events so that we could attend the ones we were interested in. We'd sussed out the Metro to Circo Massimo so we were organized on that level. Just in case you aren't privy to the details of this auspicious day it commemorates the date upon which Romulus had built a threshold around his area Rome and his brother broke or crossed it I can't quite remember,  anyway it was bad luck so the rules of old dictated that you must kill the intruder, so he committed the old stabaroo. Thus Rome's bday celebrates one twin stabbing the other even though they bonded not only in utero but whilst suckling wolf's milk from il lupo!

There were 48 hours on the Roma Pass so we were up to the second day, I hate wasting money so I tried to get Eric interested in choosing 5 places off the list, but he fobbed me off with saying a) I can't see, b) whatever you choose will be fantastic.  Ooohhh I hate it when through transparent false flattery and fake vision impairment the buck stops with me!! Mind you he had been shown the list in Australia as we'll and had used similar feeble excuses. It is so hard for me with my control freak tendencies to hand over the reins, honestly he should be flattered.

Yesterday he'd professed a great interest in the Vittore Emmanuel Monument II so I'd taken that as his choice and for my pick I took Villa Borghese. Only six ideas short  but I thought I'd build on it as the day progressed.  Both of these Destinations were on the Metro line so it was going to be a sinch! You know that saying about the counting of the chickens before they're hatched? Well it should read this way- Don't count on your plans before they've happened!

We got on  the Tram at Re di Roma and had to transfer at Termini.  Since we'd seen the monument near the Colosseum we thought we'd take an easy stroll towards Vittore. Somehow I ended up joining a line of pilgrims scaling the steps of San Maria on their knees.  Empress Helene had imported these steps which Jesus had walked in Pontius Pilates house. We also attended San Giovanni's Basilica which was a sight to behold.  The relics of Peter and Pauls skulls are above thr altar. Slightly gruesome but the artwork was amazing. After we'd been satiated with splendor we asked for directions to Vittorie Emmanuelle,  the man in the tabbachi poohpoed our idea of a Metro and gave us walking directions.

So we followed his instructions which were fine but helllloooo  why on earth would it be called the Vittore Emmanuel station if it wasn't near the monument?? Don't  mess with my head Roma!  So that's how we ended up at the St Mary  of Maggiore church, I remember her mentioned when I attended St Monica's College in my teens. I took lovely photos there, it was extremely peaceful.  Eric was protesting regarding churches, it's so annoying when there are 500 plus  churches and you're with a philistine! He will spend hours walking when he needs a tabbachi.  Since I'm  writing this blog in long gone retrospect,  we made a deal yesterday that for every cigarette I get to go into a church.  Hmmmm hope it works. Anyway we had our picnic lunch in the overgrown park near the church. Supermarkets have such fabulous cheap food here and we were a bit over the same pizzas and pastas available near the touristy sites.

Our selected birthday events were coming up so back on Metro line B to Circo Massimo. To my surprise there weren't many people there maybe just 200 at the most at first, and maximum amount under 1000. I guess it's like any city, everyone's too busy at work or just doesn't have that national pride. We were very lucky as we had a grassy spot were I spread my blanket and went to sleep, Eric watched whatever he was watching,  when I woke up there were gladiators fighting and horses galloping it was all very exciting as we could go right up to the fence. The event was finished by about 6pm so we were finished early. We wanted to try Ruki's dinner recommendation and wifi was difficult to access here so we went to trustworthy Termini to make our plans. Once settled in at our favourite cafe I worked it all out. $7 by taxi though sounded better than walking as my legs were so sore.

Anyway down to the taxi rank we go, 5 million people in line but why are the taxis not taking fares? I soon discovered why. The head honcho hustles over. I  say "Quanto costa di Monti?"

"€20 per te"
"Bah no internet dice €7 porco miseria "

Ofcourse I was sent to the end of the line! As we approach the end of the line another one approaches.  I state I'm only paying  €7 to Monti. Lots of arms flying around two of them mine. Eric very placidly enjoying a tranquila cigarette. So an armed soldier who is there on anti terrorism control joins in, speaking angrily in Italian.

I said sorry I don't speak Italian I'm an Australian tourist.  So he waves his rifle at the taxi driver and shouts at him to get lost. He kindly asked me the name of the restaurant and looked it up on his phone and said ten minutes easy walking and gave us directions.  So problem solved, off we went by reliable Aussie Foot Falcon!

I put 20 minutes on my timer as a checkpoint to ask for directions again on case we were lost. This went off in front of a deli where we had a little snackerel of marinated octopus which he gave us for free. However his freshly baked slices got the better of us and we shared one. Directions given to a street behind us, off we set and were soon in Monti.

I was allowed into the church which was non touristy and beautiful.  The piazza was full of families , parents drinking vino, kids playing soccer (it was nearly 9pm). I'd heard about this particular piazza on Rick Steves it was great to find it. A few streets up and we'd found our destination MarioLina. It was packed luckily we managed to get a table. Due to its Trip Advisor notoriety it was very popular we quickly ordered our ravioli and meatballs ( 2 seperate dishes) both were very delicate and very special.  We were glad that we'd made the effort and were also excited about the whole adventure of getting here!

Amalfi - the views where dreams come true

Okay,  shower - tick, yesterday's clothes handwashed and hung off balcony like a local - tick, husband ready by 715am - amazingly tick. Rightio all the odds were for once in our favour for our prepaid guided minibus tour to The Famous Amalfi Coast. Although I'd had diuretics i was still suffering from big leg syndrome. So I dragged myself in record time (20mins) to the railway station  ( last night it took us 35 mins), Eric patiently strolled by my side - bloody Italians with their genetic fast walk! At intervals he crooked his arm so I could Indo jog!

Due macchiato ai due cioccolata cornetti was our breakfast order, while hubster was paying, I was hit up by two beggars but I have a heart of steel. In Vietnam I was a soft touch, and in Paris last year it even cost me my phone SIM card which a refugee used to the value of $262!.

Alrighty we were on time to buy our tickets at the machine,  this time there was no English translation option so a lovely Italiana helped us. She told us our Binari was numero tre, our ticket choicewas for 8.24 we got to the platform at 8.19 and boarded the train,  no biggy. Next second train takes off still no cause for alarm. Ahhh cause for alarm when we arrive at the terminating station - Napoli!

Panicking much!! I rang the booking agency.  The dude was very gruff and said "catch a taxi or they'll leave without you, they go exactly at 9.30, you can't inconvenience everyone else and you can't get a refund because you have a reserved seat!" Fricken  A - well the day was certainly not starting well! MR Grumpy told me that the cost would be approximately  €30. Well matey not for tourists.  I'd heard on a travel podcast that Naples Taxi prices are mafia controlled. So guess what it is correctimundo!?  We run outside the station and IL capitano strides over and wants to know where we are going. 

He beckons over a driver and says "Pompeii ", we follow the driver. I  ask him to put the Metre on and he shows me a laminated price list and sure as the sun rises Pompeii is on there listed as €90 ritornò.  Eric tells him in Italian that it's a solo viaggio but he explains that he won't have a fair back. We'll anyway life's an adventure and we had a no alternative. This guy was the stereotypical crazy driver, we were going at over 100km and often in the opposite lane. He spoke to Mr Grumpy at the tourist agency who was shouting at him to go faster. He put his pedal to the metal and honestly I was amazed that we came out alive. He charged us €70 and had an angry word with lying Mr Grumpy  bècause our mini  buses weren't even here yet.

Tick tock tick tock , bloody liar they didn't get there until 10.15am and we weren't put on a mini bus, they ran out and our group of 8 was put in a taxi, the driver of course wasn't a guide but it was fine because we weren't walking walking so it was a wonderful view and a well deserved rest.  We stopped to take a photo of Salerno with the Vesuvius background. I did feel a trifle annoyed because Eric and I weren't sitting together and we were sitting one behind each other in the seats that were always next to the Lattari Mountain Range.  So although we could see the visual beauty we couldn't take any photographs.  However on the rarest of occasions when there was something picturesque on our side the French couple beside me would completely  lean over me and take photos, not once did the say excuse me or ever offer for me to have a big lean on them.

Our first real stop was at Ravello,  it was only 40 mins because we'd had such thick traffic, the Monday being a bridge day between the weekend and the Italian National Holiday on the 25th of April, our Anzac day.  Apparently in Italy the bridge day is normal and unless you're working in the hospitality industry you have it off. Hmmm Australia please adopt this idea!! We had a quick nature call, and tried to get near the sea wall to take a photo but it was impossible to get down within our short time frame.  We ordered porchetta rolls hoping they'd be filled with porchetta as delicious as we'd had in Roma from the grocery store. It was ok but no herbs used. I am extremely fussy with my food as I worked so hard to lose the 10kg before our holiday and since I've now thrown caution to the wind calorie wise it better be worth it!

Our next stop was the township of Amalfi the steep road to the  centre of town was pointed out but we wanted to drink Limoncello in a restaurant with a view and look out at the world famous beach speckled with jolly umbrellas.  A ship was in port. I joked to Eric "Oh look it's Gin's ship! I'd better get a photo of it!"

Gin later confirmed that it was indeed her ship! She had given me strict instructions on certain culinary matters.  One was to go to Bar Trevi in Rome - which I obediently did. And the other was drink Limoncello on the Amalfi Coast. The snooty waiter (for a moment I thought we were in France) inquired whether we were dining . I thought we better affirm this question or the prime balcony  seating wouldn't be given to us. Once settled we perused the menu it was actually less expensive than a restaurant like The Raw Prawn or Barnacle Bills on the Cairns Esplanade! 

However I'd eaten half of my porchetta panino (Eric had obliged me by eating the rest ) so unfortunately we in all honesty weren't hungry. So I ordered Zuppa di Cosse (Mussels in a tomato based sauce ) -Eric said there was no way that he could eat - and two Limoncello Spritzs. It was a fantastic choice. The Spritz had Lemon Sorbet in it as well as Prosecco and a smidgen of soda water it was like a liquid alcoholic lemon sherbet lolly.

My husband who had no room for food had by then polished off the bread basket and needed to wash it down with another round of spritz!  The bar tender was extremely pleased and doubled the limoncello,  woah it was difficult to even contemplate walking!  I looked at my watch and lo and behold it was time to settle up, I gave a last lingering look at the stunning view and put my best foot forward, so to speak!

Eric sped along ahead fueled by Limoncello,  there was a soccer match going on down on the sand . Pele kicked the ball up onto the board walk and a middleaged Brit - who was definitely not Becks- thought he'd impress the ladies kicked it like a frickn halfwit right into me. I was nearly knocked over, I gasped in pain and held onto my upper abdomen.  The group of Brits looked at each other , the culprit said "oh" and they sped off. I was holding onto the wall so I wouldn't collapse.  Eric was already in the bus. I had to drag myself along the promenade back to our waiting tour group. Everyone was annoyed with me. I was in too much pain to talk.

It took a fair while before I could breathe properly and start enjoying the drive again. I pushed away my feelings of disgruntlement and sat back and relaxed. Since I couldn't take photos and could only see by looking either behind the drivers seat or out of the front window I dozed off intermittently.  I heard the young Italian couple in the back with Eric talk about a boat.  I presumed they were catching the boat back from Positano and thought hmmmm that would be a gorgeous view.

Originally when we were planning on going to the Amalfi Coast we'd only planned to go by boat to Amalfi and then Positano and return to Salerno in the reserved manner. This was going to cost  €40. So the mini bus tour was a really good option especially since we were going the whole way up to Sorrento.

Anyway the taxi driver abruptly stopped on the middle of nowhere.  There were two ceramic sales stores on either side of the road and a fancy circular resort.  Everyone else had disappeared into thin air,  we thought that they'd probably gone to the toilet.

Eric was smoking so was standing away from me . And an Italian speaking man gestured to me to come on a tour in the grotto.  I explained that I was waiting for the mini bus and didn't have enough time. He asked me what my husband's name was. I said that he was called Enrico. The man had an animated discussion with Eric and then we were ushered towards a stairwell.

Eric said we were going on a boat tour in the grotto! I argued that the bus would not wait for us. He looked puzzled, and replied , "He's our driver, didn't you recognize him? "

I said, "No because he was wearing a blue woolen waistcoaty vest thing and now he has a white button up shirt on".  Anyway we went down in the lift and when the door opened my eyes opened wide in shock.  It was indescribably beautiful,  the grotto was dripping with limestone stalactites and the water was a special deep sapphire blue. It was so beautiful I clapped my hands and started to cry.

My husband sympathetically said,  stop your blubbering and get into the boat. We were the last on board so we were the nearest to the rower / captain and he made a big fuss over us being Australian and then sang Oh Solo Mio to us liberally inserting the word Australia  whenever he could. I thought I was recording it but it didn't work which is such a shame. 

We all came out of the grotto and once again everyone was gone. What was with these people? ? I took out my phone and luckily there was wifi so I  looked up how to ask " where is our driver?" I used the phrase on one of the other drivers in our convoy ( I wouldn't have recognized him from a bar of soap but Eric had assured me he had been with our 5 vehicle convoy the entire time.) So apparently our driver was coming back in an hour because another taxi in our convoy had broken down. They had only told the italian couple in our group and although they were young and spoke good English they didn't feel they needed to let us know.  I don't know why Eric didn't ask the other driver as he was chatting away freely in Italian to other tourists. He spotted a loquat tree on another terrace belonging to the café so we stood on the chairs and picked fruit, and sat there an ate it. We'd already had a coffee upstairs.

When our driver came back it was 4pm, the finish time for the tour was 4.30pm, luckily no one had an evening plane to catch. I asked the English couple who had been sitting in the front the entire trip whether we could swap spots as we hadn't been able to take photos.  She said that she was a migraine sufferer and therefore was susceptible to motion sickness so had to have the front. I took out my prescription labelled packet of medication and sympathized , replying yes I fully understood and that I was feeling very unwell, and if her husband wasn't also in the same predicament could he swap with me, as I had the same medical urgency. He was very chivalrous and said we could swap seats. I was able to take a few photos but by now the light was shining in from the front of the taxi  so it wasn't an opportune time.

The driver pointed out Positano and we stopped to take photos, however the 10 km drive took over 1 hour and we had missed our allocated parking time so we couldn't stop. We stopped at another town whose name I can't remember.  Then we had an hour and 40 minutes in Sorrento. We went for a walk around the gorgeous little town. Eric bought a litre of Limoncello for €10 saying he'd make cocktails every night ( since I'm writing this in hindsight, I can say - we still have 750ml left and we're catching the plane to Paris this afternoon, so perhaps we should have bought the 4 x 250ml cutesy boot shaped bottles instead for €2 extra) we paid to go down to the Corso in a lift expecting to find a cafe to eat something as it was nearly 6pm, however nothing opened until 7pm as it was still siesta time. We finished our loquats and strolled about. Once up the top  we saw people eating little savouries so we sat down there. However they weren't on the menu and were only for people drinking alcohol other than beer so we had a coffee and took in the stunning sunset. An enormous seagull who Eric gave the moniker Jonathan to, sat there on the wall just waiting to be photographed!

The time was soon over, so we were collected by our driver who had apparently been taking fares. I asked what time we'd be in Pompeii because yesterday when we purchased our tickets we were told the last train left at 9am,  he said no worries we'll be there in 15mins. However the traffic was bumper to bumper and although he drove on the wrong side of the road as much as he could so that he could push in further  up the line we screeched into the station at 5past. Off he zoomed, I ran in and thank God there were trains coming after 10pm. One at 5 past the other at 20 past. As luck would have it the ticket machine was broken so we walked around Pompeii for half an hour looking for a Tabbachi,  they were all closed.  I said to Eric let's just sit down and have dinner in the café where we ate last night and I'll buy tickets on line. So we did that and as luck would have it, the station ticket machine was working again, so the rest of the night was smooth sailing.